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Post by asher on Aug 1, 2011 21:08:16 GMT 10
Hi all, I just cannot believe I've never come across this forum before! Anyway, having recently received accreditation for both LA and PC in Victoria I thought i'd stop by and hopefully make some friends. Looking forward to reading through some of these posts
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Post by manni on Aug 2, 2011 12:04:21 GMT 10
Hi Asher!
Congratulations on your approval!! I hope you have a short wait. ;D
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Post by lilchookie on Aug 2, 2011 12:30:04 GMT 10
Hi Asher,
Welcome to the forum! Hope your wait will not be too long.
: )
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Post by waiting on Aug 2, 2011 14:07:17 GMT 10
Welcome Asher, I am glad you found the forum. You have done the hard part, now the hardest part is coming, the WAITING. I am sure due to your age, your wait will not be long. Fingers crossed.
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Post by asher on Aug 2, 2011 15:07:23 GMT 10
Thank you for your well wishes. I hope we don't wait too long either however, we haven't been given a time frame and have no idea how long it will take. Sending you all the best with your journey's too
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Post by asher on Aug 2, 2011 19:07:16 GMT 10
Like me, i'm sure you have all done plenty of research, read peoples experiences etc. Does anyone think having another child already will lessen our chances for a reasonably fast placement? We have requested for a child under 5. Our social worker hasn't really told us of our chances but from what i've read and heard I can't seem to make an opinion! There is so much contradictory information out there.
Thanks in advance.
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Post by waiting on Aug 2, 2011 21:17:05 GMT 10
I say no, because some people don't want their child to be the only one. SOme say yes, because they want their child to be your only one. Go figure....
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Post by asher on Aug 2, 2011 23:56:55 GMT 10
Waiting, you are so right. It's almost impossible to predict as we're all different with our own sets of opinions and situations.
Training and assessment was a breeze compared to waiting for the phone to ring, and we have only just started the waiting!
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Post by waiting on Aug 3, 2011 9:09:39 GMT 10
Asher I am nearing the end of my 2 year wait and I am trying to decide if there is really any point in putting in for another year. I just turned 45.
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Post by asher on Aug 3, 2011 10:59:54 GMT 10
Oh my goodness Waiting. Surely you still have a shot after 45. They have people 45+ in training groups..
I understand there's never a guarantee but I really hope you get the surprise you're waiting for.
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Post by goggly on Aug 3, 2011 14:38:50 GMT 10
Welcome Asher. We already have a child through LA and are hoping on a second one (but not holding our breath!) Your age certainly works in your favour and the any requests for a sibling as there seems to be only a couple of people who are going through the second time.
Was your first child a LA/PC?
Waiting, sweetie I so feel for you, I can't imagine what it is like. We have been waiting for a while now but it is so much easier for me because I have someone already to keep me entertained. Poor you.
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Post by asher on Aug 3, 2011 23:25:44 GMT 10
Hi Goggly, thank you for welcoming me. We were lucky to conceive our first child naturally and have struggled for many years to add to our family. I understand our age is a plus but having another child does make me wonder if this would be seen as a negative or a positive. I agree with Waiting though, it really depends, some say yes some say no. Sending you lots of luck in having another little one join your family soon.
Waiting, I totally feel for you. Nothing anyone can say could ever make you feel any better about the situation you're in. I hope your dream comes true xx
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Post by waiting on Aug 4, 2011 15:15:58 GMT 10
Thanks Asher, I hope so too, but whatever we were able to try hasn't quite worked. We did LA as opposed to ICA because it was a 3 year wait to start, we did LA as opposed to donor embryo because my husband could not bear me to go through another miscarriage again and possibly a final breakdown ( this is what he thinks, I think not), we chose adoption because the donor egg I got offered via my cousin, my doctor would not accept as she was older, we chose IVF because we could conceive naturally properly..... and it continues.
Now this LA business is still not working out and I feel that I have wasted 8 years of my life wanting a baby and then not getting one....
I hate it.
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Post by asher on Aug 4, 2011 17:36:40 GMT 10
What a long road you have travelled to get to this point...
I think the question you have to ask yourself is if you pulled out now would you always wonder if it would have ever gone your way? Then again, can your heart take another 12 months of disappointment if nothing was to change? I sincerely hope it doesn't go that way for you. What I figure is that things can go one of two ways. If you remove yourselves from the 'list' or wait another 12 months (and not receive that call), you're going to be disappointed either way. However, while there's that slight glimmer of hope and you remain waiting for a LA, you know you've done everything possible to have a child join your family (not that you haven't already, you've obviously endured some terrible obstacles). Some would suggest trying to 'move on' with your lives good advice but if I try and imagine how I would feel in your situation I keep coming back to raising another child, it's what I want most in this world. However, I do recognise if things don't work out, eventually we will all have to come to terms with it, as heart wrenching as that would be. I'm sure you've thought through this stuff over and over.. I'm probably not helping.
What about permanent care? Is it something you would consider? I have never looked into ICA and am not sure about age limits for different countries. I'm aware that there's quite significant waits though. I wish there was something positive I could say.. Whatever you and your husband decide, I wish you the best of luck.
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Post by waiting on Aug 4, 2011 20:09:19 GMT 10
Thanks for your point of view. Nothing is easy at the moment. We have been waiting for a long time to be parents and I know a girl who keeps poppin out babies with her molesting type partner and she can never keep them but she won't allow anyone to adopt them either. Sad.
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Post by asher on Aug 4, 2011 20:18:45 GMT 10
Yeah I think we all hear of stories similar to that one. Unfortunately some people just have no idea...
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