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Howdy
Jun 10, 2011 17:10:04 GMT 10
Post by croosroads on Jun 10, 2011 17:10:04 GMT 10
Hi all, What a good start, spelling my tag croosroads instead of crossroads! I've been looking for more info on Permanent care and adoption. We've just been to the fertility specialist last week, and told my chances of falling pregnant without IVF are 1 to 2 %. We've been trying for 2 years. I don't know if IVF is the right way to go, when there are children needing parents here already. I also know a lot of people who have spent years trying to conceive, and end up five years older and a lot sadder after the process. I don't want to put myself and my husband through that really. You all seem to be quite positive about adoption and permanent care, and it seems a bit less dire than what I've been told. My assumption was that the waiting times were so long that there was very little chance of ever being given a child through adoption or PC. I have a couple of questions about PC - Could we live overseas or interstate with a PC child for any length of time? For people who have a PC or adopted child, if you were in my situation, would you give IVF a try or go straight into the process of PC or Adoption? I'm 35. Thanks, Croosroads!! AKA Anna
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Howdy
Jun 11, 2011 16:49:00 GMT 10
Post by waiting on Jun 11, 2011 16:49:00 GMT 10
Hi Anna, welcome to our little forum. I am sure you will find lots of information on this forum if you flick through the pages. I have not got a child yet, but my opinion is try IVF, even if it just for a short time. Give it a time limit 12 months and see how it goes. Then stop and try your adoption. Don't go into IVF gun ho. Just be cool about it. Don't put all your hopes on it because it may not work, but then again, maybe it will. That is just my opinion.
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Howdy
Jun 11, 2011 18:06:17 GMT 10
Post by goggly on Jun 11, 2011 18:06:17 GMT 10
We decided not to do ivf and go down the local adoption route. Even though we were placed relatively quickly, other friends of ours had two or three kids through ivf in the time it has taken us to get to approval for the second.
Its a long drawn out process with no guarantees and I wouldn't change a thing now, but I think if I knew what I do know now, I would seriously give IVF a go before LA or PC, knowing that you had it as an option further down the track.
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Howdy
Jun 14, 2011 18:40:32 GMT 10
Post by chinababe on Jun 14, 2011 18:40:32 GMT 10
Howdy Little CR! I'm assuming your in victoria? Just PC can have different aspects to it depending on the state. I'm not sure about the overseas thing - I think you would need to ask the department in your state to be sure.
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Howdy
Jun 14, 2011 19:55:06 GMT 10
Post by shudie on Jun 14, 2011 19:55:06 GMT 10
Welcome,
We did IVF for a few years, 13 cycles. In some ways I wish we had gone straight for intercountry adoption, by the time we did, we were too old. Saying that, I met some of the most wonderful now life-long friends through IVF so I definitely found a positive out of it. For me, I spent the whole 3 years depressed and unhappy so it was a relief to end. I'm glad I gave it ago on the one hand, on the other, my first preference was to adopt and I didn't listen to myself.
As you can see... making that choice is complex and individual to each of us. We are both really happy in life even after much suffering due to infertility. We were told that 95% of people at the PC training will be placed so I always saw it as a when not an if... it helped soothe my IVF 'will it ever happen anxiety?'
Re PC, we were told that we could travel and the SW said that people move away because of work etc so living abroad is a possibility. I have heard the opposite though...i.e no travel.
x Shudie
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Howdy
Jun 14, 2011 20:05:16 GMT 10
Post by nevermind on Jun 14, 2011 20:05:16 GMT 10
Hi there!
On the issue of whether you can travel with a PC child. My understand is that you can, but you have to meet your end of the bargain in terms of access with the birthparents, which can be up to 8 times a year. This would preclude you from going away for an indefinite period of time. Access can mean a Skype call or emails though, so I would say you could have room to move once you've been placed and depending on the birthparents you're dealing with. I would go in with the assumption that you would not be able to live out of the state though, just so you don't go in with false expectations.
Good luck!
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