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Post by milly75 on Jul 21, 2010 22:11:04 GMT 10
I am a 40 yr old single woman looking into adoption or permanent care. when I was 18 I had a brief drug addiction that led to me being in the methadone program. I have been clean for over 20 years, however I am worried about disclosing my past. My current doctor is unaware of this previous issue, as it was so long ago, however as methadone is administered by the govt, i am concerned that my past may come up even if I don't mention it. Has anyone with a drug history adopted or done permanent care? I have been told by the authorities that it should not be a problem, however others have told me not to mention it. Any info on this, or privacy in regards to these sorts of issues, would be GREATLY appreciated and any info from people whio have been in this position or know anything at all!!
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Post by lilchookie on Jul 22, 2010 10:14:29 GMT 10
Hiding this past issue would raise more red flags for the SW’s than you being open about your past addiction. You will write a life story where you will have the chance to say it in your words. But be prepared for the social workers to question you about it, over & over again. They will want to establish that your addiction is in the past and not a part of your present. They are not looking for ‘perfect’ people as parents. They are looking for well adjusted, committed people. Give the department in your state a call and have a chat with them, honesty all the way is my advice. Good Luck
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Post by waiting on Jul 22, 2010 18:15:08 GMT 10
I believe everything comes out one way or the other. Be honest and be proud of the fact that you have worked out your issues and now you are looking forward. They will see that you are a person that has worked through their problems and have come out of it. Good luck. Waiting.
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Post by goggly on Jul 23, 2010 15:56:21 GMT 10
It is always seen positively by SW if you have adversity and worked through it - getting help in a particular aspect of life is looked on postitively because it shows that you have capacity to help your future children with their challenges.
Having said that, I'm not entirely sure I would be upfront about it unless you are really comfortable talking about it and see it in a positive way which defines you, as so much can be read into that particular part of your life. It won't just be about the addiction, but the factors leading to it, the post addiction, the years and years since and it may become the focus of the whole application.
It is unlikely that unless it came up on a police check (did you commit an offence during this time?) as the dispensing of drugs is restricted by about six privacy laws and there would be no access to those records without permission.
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Post by lilchookie on Jul 23, 2010 18:11:10 GMT 10
Having said that, I'm not entirely sure I would be upfront about it unless you are really comfortable talking about it and see it in a positive way which defines you, as so much can be read into that particular part of your life. It won't just be about the addiction, but the factors leading to it, the post addiction, the years and years since and it may become the focus of the whole application. I see what you are saying googly, but you have been through the assessment process & as you know, they want to know alot of things. Not disclosing this part of milly75's past is essentially attempting a hide years of her life, that would be very difficult to do. If the SW's did pick up on some gaps here and they continued to revisit it, it could have a more negative effect on her being apprived by not disclosing than disclosing in the first place. Personally I have overcome some adversity in my life and I was a little nervous about what to disclose when going into the assessment process. I was 100% honest and upfront in my life story and assessment, as things turned out it was the best way I could of handled things. For me some of this adversity has played a part in shaping who I am and the way I handled myself in the past & the way I am today was reflected extremely positively in our SW report.
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Post by doris on Jul 23, 2010 18:41:44 GMT 10
I have to agree with you Lilchookie. depending on how good of an actor you are, the SW tend to find all the gaps and will keep at it until you break (in a good way) i know because there were some parts of my past that i did not want to talk about but it all came out. I believe that it should be mentioned in the life story first and let the SW bring it up, they will know when and how to bring it up and it will show the SW that you are not afraid to talk about this part of your life and that you have dealt with it and that you have been off drugs for a very long time. I assume (i know i should never assume), but i assume that you have helped other people overcome their dealings with drugs, if so this is another part of your drug taking years that has had a positive inpacked on other lives. Shoot i am going on and on.
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Post by goggly on Jul 24, 2010 9:07:06 GMT 10
i do think it is a line call whichever way you go. From experience there was an aspect to my DH's life that the SW kept revisiting and revisiting and it was the focus of his assessment even though that year or two was not that significant to him in the scope of the other 35. He never tried to hide it, but to him it was just part of his history, to the SW it was the defining moment of his life.
This time around we already flagged it with our SW who could not care less - she has read the first report and doesn't see that issue as significant. So it depends who you get.
Your first hurdle will be adopting as a single - you can't do it in a lot of states and if you are looking at PC then the addiction and its resolution may hold you in good stead as it is one of the backgrounds that PC kids can come from (long with the other 300 types of family situations!)
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