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Post by Kim on Nov 1, 2007 22:37:51 GMT 10
I'm just wondering how everyone's partners are coping with the Adoption Process / Permanent Care Process? Men seem to deal with things differently to women, so I thought it might be helpful to have a topic about this. Such as my husband really wants to adopt and he is definitely the calmer one through this whole process. As he doesnt seem to stress about things like I do. Of course to me this sometimes makes him seem less interested or maybe not as keen as I am, although I know he is. But I'm worried the social worker might not see it that way, especially as he also like to take time to think about a question when its asked, and so sometimes you can sit there for a few minutes wondering if he even heard you. The fact is, I am really glad that he is so calm about the whole process as I think it helps keep me less stressed at times.
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bblessed
Newbie
Mum to 4 and Hoping for more!
Posts: 24
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Post by bblessed on Nov 2, 2007 15:15:27 GMT 10
My husband has said he much prefers this process to pregnancy! Aside from the obivous fact I am not incredibly ill (!!!) he said he actually feels so much more a part of it, than with a pregnancy. He said recently that me being pregnant is kind of like being on the outside looking in - but with this adoption process, he feels such an intricate part of it all. I like knowing he feels this way - and I hope it spurs him to do his Life Story soon!
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Post by flossyinoz on Nov 5, 2007 9:28:32 GMT 10
My hubby 100% supports the process but he was not happy we had to do so much paperwork and he is not a writing person and he finds it very intrusive as he is very private, pommy stiff upper lip A couple of weeks ago the whole thing really got to him about a year after we had stopped IVF and emotions suddenly caught up with him to the point that I was really worried. He very much regrets we cannot have our own child together, genetically I mean but we both know we would love a pc or adoptive child as much. He has never blamed me as his sperm is fine. He still has the strong urge to father his own genetic child even though not being able to raise it, so he has become a sperm donor. If it works it will be both joyful and hurtful for us, that we are not able to become parents the more or less natural way but that some other couple through him will have the joy of having a child. It is also a way of repaying the kindness we got from our donors even though it did not work out for us in the end which certainly was not their fault. I think when we will be assessed (hopefully at some stage in the future) emotions will pop up again for both of us and hopefully we will be ablet o help each other through it. I know DH won't be happy with the whole process as he is not much of a talker, so for him this may be harder than for me. Cheers Flossyinoz
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