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Post by shudie on Feb 18, 2011 20:33:21 GMT 10
What do you all think about this?
x Shudie
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Post by doris on Feb 18, 2011 21:56:16 GMT 10
Hi Shudie,
Our little boy came to us at 7 months. During transition (for 7 days) the bonding was instant, we put him in his own bedroom with all the toys and blankets that his foster family had for him and that seemed to work. The first night we had him for good he slept all night, but after that it was very different, he would start in his bed and then would end up with us and did not want to go back to bed. It has taken a while to get him to sleep through the night, but now i have to say he is in his own room sleeping in a double bed because he was so used to sleeping in our bed. I have to say he is so cute sleeping in his double bed spread eagle and sleeping like an angel. But it did take us a very long time to get him used to sleeping by himself, he would wake up scared and run to our room. I dont know if he had bad dreams but it was scaring him.
I guess you have to see how you feel when you have your bub at home. Set up the room and if you feel that you want bub with you then have bub with you. It all depends on how you feel when bub is home.
D
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Post by shudie on Feb 19, 2011 9:53:22 GMT 10
Wow, you read so many horror stories about attachment, I'm always amazed when someone says that they bonded instantly. Thanks re sleeping, that is really helpful. How scary for kids re waking scared in the night How long did that last for?
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Post by goggly on Feb 19, 2011 16:57:16 GMT 10
We had no bonding issues either shudie. By the time transition was over we came home with her, put her in her brand new cot and it was like clockwork, it was kinda like she was waiting for us!
Everyone suggests that you keep exactly the same routine as foster care for the first weeks and gradually change after that. We did that and by about week four had everything the way we wanted it.
Have you ever slept in the same room as a baby? Some people are completely fine with it, but they make so much noise. I am a light sleeper and the few times she has been in the bed with us one of us gets out and sleeps elsewhere or I lay awake all night listening to her grind her teeth, snore or talk!
As for putting sibs together, no issue I would think. I shared a room with my sister when we were kids and that worked fine. The only problem would be if they had substantially different ages and bedtimes, but if they are close in age it would be easier I would think.
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Post by lilchookie on Feb 20, 2011 10:02:03 GMT 10
DD went straight into her room (7.5 months when we got her). She has a doll that her birthmum made her that was in her cot at the foster parents home. We brought that home a few days before she came and put that in her cot, so when she came for a visit and a day sleep before we came home for good that was in there. We also gave her a teddy blanket thing that she started sleeping with from the day we met her. She wont sleep without it now. We have had no trouble with her being in her own room other than a few wakes up at 3.30amish (teething) and she has come into our room and gone back to sleep.
We have kept the same routine as she has been in but are now starting to change things a little as she has been home for nearly 4 weeks.
I agree with what goggly said with her DD with it being like she was waiting for them, it feels the same way with our DD. Its like she has always been here now!
With feeding, I would continue with whatever has been happening before you are placed. If they are in a highchair already, keep doing that.
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Post by shudie on Feb 20, 2011 13:54:44 GMT 10
lol re sleeping in the same room as a baby re noise. i think we'll be putting bub in its own room - i can't even stand to sleep next to the noise of husband breathing pmsl.
thanks so much for all of this information - it is really helpful. that is so great to hear you all say that everything just fell into place!
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Post by flossyinoz on Feb 26, 2011 21:34:00 GMT 10
We put DS in a portacot in our bedroom as we were quite afraid of sids when he came to us at 5 months. Well he is still there at 19 months as he refuses to sleep in his cot in his room, he does it at lunchtime though. Often nowadays in the middle of the night he now starts winging and will en d up in our bed. It is not so much the noise, more that he is a real "spacehog", some nights he is very restless and you get arms and legs in your face, some night she sleeps like a little angel and it is nice to cuddle up with him (can't have that though when falling asleep myself ) Some people may say we have made a rod for our own back, maybe, but it is not a real problem and co-sleeping is practised in many cultures all over the world. In time we will probably try to get him to sleep in a toddler bed in his room as we think he does not like the cot as it has bars and he hates bars of all sorts, eg he hates the baby gates in our house. You will just have to do what works for you, every child and every family is different.
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