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Post by Kim on Apr 21, 2007 15:33:07 GMT 10
Having been part of the InterCountry Adoption process between June 2005 and January 2007, before changing to Local Adoption, I found that there is so much support, in adopting groups / forums and parent groups / forums. Yet there seems to be nothing out there for local adoption or permanent care parents-to-be, or those who are alread parents. I know ICA is more popular than Local Adoption or Permanent Care, partly due to the number of children in orphanages. But why is it so hard to find any groups or forums that cater for Local Adoption or Permanent Care? There is so much information about ICA, I was able to research ICA before going to the info session in 2005 so everything they talked about I already knew, but with the Local Adoption info session I hadnt been able to find much info at all, so wasnt as prepared for what was said. That is in part why I wanted to create this forum, so that there was at least one that was just about Adoption and Permanent Care, and by adoption, I mean both Local and ICA. So I think this may be an interesting topic, or it could be one that goes nowhere ;D But why do you think that there isnt much around for Local Adoption? And what were your reasons, if you wish to share, for choosing, Local Adoption, Permanat Care or Inter Country Adoption?
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Post by flossyinoz on Apr 23, 2007 14:40:55 GMT 10
I have experienced exactly the same. There are tons of clubs for international adoption who seem to be very active. When we were not sure if we were going down the local or international stream we met some lovely ladies who had adopted in the no longer existing Romanian ICA program and the newer Lithuanian program. Hubby and I are interested in adopting/permanent caring a child with a Western background. Now hold your horses, I hear you thinking she is a racist! Not at all - we have Indian and Chinese friends and are open to any nationality. But we both grew up in Europe, I am German, Hubby is a "Possy". So we have enough to integrate German and British culture along with living in Australia, getting a 4th country into the equation would complicate things a bit too much. And when you are growing up in Europe your connections with Asia are limited, so it would be extemely difficult for us to familiarise a child with its national culture. So we ended up in the local stream and found nothing and almost nobody out there to help or share experiences. So I was extremely happy that Kim invited me to this forum and I think it is a great start and hope the forum will grow in time. But it does need a bit more participation. I think nobody can loose by exchanging ideas, milestones and when we are lucky and have our bubs we probably even need more support from each other and playmates for our kids as well. One of the application questions for permanent care asks if we are active in a support group. I have named this forum as a start and hope that maybe our social worker can help us further, maybe there are some "hidden" groups out there, maybe it is a "secret circle" Greetings to all Flossyinoz
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bblessed
Newbie
Mum to 4 and Hoping for more!
Posts: 24
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Post by bblessed on Apr 23, 2007 16:21:21 GMT 10
I'm thinking that local adoption groups would be much fewer and harder to find because there are a lot less people adopting locally maybe? And because as far as WWW groups go - you'd really have nothing in common with someone adopting locally from a different country, or perhaps even a different state! There are a whole bundle of ICA Yahoo groups, specifically catering to each individual country - because even if you live on the other side of the world, you all end up in the same ocuntry to collect your child! So I guess ICA groups are so many because there are more parents wanting to adopt this way, and there are more children available through ICA. And because if nothing else, proospective adoptive parents have their child's country of birth in common, at the very least.
I don't really know - they're just my thoughts!
We are committed Christians and we chose ICA simply because that's what our God told us! Other reasons include the incredible small number of children available locally, and how "easily" these few children find homes. And we thought China was a nation we were able to fairly easily integrate as a culture into our current family life. We, of course, eat Chinese, DH does Kung Fu, there is a quite a large lot of Chinese cultural history in the area we live relating to the Gold Rush - lots of small things which add up to show us we'd incorporate Chinese culture into our life fairly easily, and already have some "footholds" so to speak. We didn't really ever consider local adoption - it just didn't occur to us. We are not suffering infertility or anything similar - and I know some states require you to be infertile and have no children to even apply for LA.
Anyway, longwinded response shortened - our hearts are in ICA, and in China in particular. And at this stage, we're following our hearts.
Have you done some Yahoo group searches - I did a brief one and it seemed to come up with a few LA groups?
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Post by flossyinoz on Apr 24, 2007 16:36:09 GMT 10
Bblessed, thank you for sharing the other side with us, I mean from an international adoption point of view. We also first looked into international adoption as it seems a lot more publicised in the media and there are more kids - well a lot more if red tape was not making everything so difficult. I did a Yahoo group search myself and there are 2 small Australian groups both of which basically have no message movement. Everybody definitely should follow their heart and gut feeling, ours has now led us to the local stream. Just tried to day to get the social worker on the phone to make an appointment when to hand our application in, but whenever I called she was unavailable and then she called and I was busy and could not take her call. But not to worry, another day or two won't matter Flossyinoz
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Post by Kim on Apr 26, 2007 14:32:17 GMT 10
Thanks bblessed and flossyinoz for sharing why you doing ICA and Permanent Care. For DH and I, we started out doing ICA and wanting to adopt from China, mainly because I've wanted to adopt from China since I was in my early teens, but also because we felt that there were less local children available for adoption. Unfortunatly for us on a single income we couldnt afford the costs of ICA, even though you paid the fee's at different stages, we were still finding it very hard to manage, we got right up to thefee's for the social worker but couldnt afford to pay them. So we felt that maybe ICA just wasnt right for us at this time, but having gone to the education sessions for ICA, gave us more of a look into both ICA and Local Adoption and we decided that we should find out more about Local Adoption. So thats how we found our way into Local Adoption and possibly Permanent Care later on. Now just like flossyinoz I looked into groups in yahoo for local adoption and couldnt find any active groups. As for really have nothing in common with someone adopting locally, from a different country, or perhaps even a different state.... I think wanting to adopt and going through the process, being adoptive parents and just adoption in itself gives us all something in common, whether we adopt locally, from different states or from different countries. As a woman who got pregnant but lost her child and now is unable to have biological children, I find my friends and family who are able to have bio children find it hard to understand how much being a mother means to me and what I'm willing to put myself through to become one, yet most other people going through adoption, whether its InterCountry or Locally can understand exactly what its like. So I really feel whether we do permanent care, intercountry adoption or local adoption, we all have something in common and can help and support each other. As for why we dont hear much about Local Adoption / Permanent Care, I feel in part it is because of the fact that there are less local adoptions than intercountry adoptions, but also I think its partly because there is no where like this forum where local and permanent care parents can come to talk, but I also think that Local adoption still has a bit of a stigma about it, so people are nervous to talk about it. Well thats my opinion anyway, which of course is no more right or wrong than anyone elses view on this topic.
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Post by chinababe on May 19, 2007 20:28:13 GMT 10
Ditto to what Beck said but maybe it's also because there are more 'known' or 'easily indefinable" issues where families need to support one another with ICA. Plus most likely some of the parents are probably trying to lay down foundations of support for their children being adopted from the same country. I'm a bit like Jeantte in a way because it's likley that we will end up with a ICA child and a PC child or many 2 ICA chn & one PC or One ICA and 2 PC! The future is unknown!
I do think there needs to be forums for the LA side of it because you need support and advice for sepcfic things as well. I also want to thank KIm for teaching me a little about LA and helping me dispel my own myths about this (remember the cost thread at BB!).
Flossy I am waiting and waiting for your education/seminar classes to be over. I do understand what you mean about the cultural thing. For me the interesting thing is I was often confused by others as being part or even fully Asian. My sister has a photo and nearly everyone points to me asking who the Chinese girl is, I think when she explains some people are waiting for her to say 'she's adopted'. My nephew is very unusual looking as well, his comment when we started our adoption with china was "thank god (sorry Bec) finally someone that will look like me!".
Jac (aka Jacinta)
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