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Post by Kim on Apr 2, 2007 11:10:47 GMT 10
In this day and age most families prefer to have 2 children only, its a lot easier money wise and if you look at stuff like holiday packages they are mostly aimed at 2 adults and 2 children. Now I'm just wondering what if you would really like to have 4 children, all adopted or some adopted and some permanent care? Do you need to have a separate bedroom for each child or would it be possible for say 2 children to share a room? I've always wanted a big family with at least 8 children, but obviously unless we won the lotto we wouldnt be able to afford care for that many children, but we could possibly manage 4, although this is something that may change in time, as currently we dont have any, so we may find 2 is enough Any one have any thoughts on big adoptive or permanent care families?
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Post by flossyinoz on May 29, 2007 15:06:32 GMT 10
Just coming accross this thread. I know several birth families with 3, 4 or more kids and frankly I don't know how the mothers do it. As much as I love children but I am for the 2 kid family, maybe the way I was raised with one younger brother. Nowadays everything costs money and if you want to offer your children something in life from scholling to holidays, 2 max 3 is all you can afford.
I think with more than 2 kids you have to dedicate your life totally to the kids. Call me selfish but I am who I am with a distinct history and I think for me it would be hard to cope with more than two without giving up everything else I like, other interests. It may be easier if you grow into it, like having one kid, another and then another etc. Especially at my age I think the joy but also the shock of one or two children suddenly permanently in my life will be plenty.
I sometimes wonder how I will cope, finally getting what I always wanted, to be a mother. But my whole life will totally change and one never knows how one will react before it happens, like new mothers who suddenly get postnatal depression. I think there is also postadoption depression, hope I won't get it, but one never knows.
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bblessed
Newbie
Mum to 4 and Hoping for more!
Posts: 24
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Post by bblessed on Jul 11, 2007 16:17:11 GMT 10
Technically I'm not mum of a large adoptive/PC family - but I do have 4 chuldren so far and we plan to add to it by adoption and birth. Just how MUCH we plan on adding to it, is not yet decided - I reckon we're about half way there, DH is not quite so keen on 8 or more!
But as far as practicalities go, I can answer some of your questions from a "larger family" perspective. Bedroom sharing - depends on the child and their perosnality. Our oldest son does a lot to care for and look after his younger siblings, and we see that he really needs his own space to withdraw to sometimes, with his own things. The others are only allowed in there if invited.
Our next 2 sons share a room - they are less than 2 years apart in age, and since they started sharing, have both settled and slept much better. They love being together, and have a lot of fun in their room. We intend to expand our house and they will have the opportunity to have a seperate room each - but I highly doubt they will choose to - they just want to be together.
Our daughter has her own room, but I'm thinking she will pribably share if we adopt a child of similar age to her.
Holidays - we stay in places like caravan park cabins, so there's plenty of beds for everyone, a guaranteed playgorund and entertainment to keep everyone occupied - and we tend to choose locations that have a lot of different things to see and do within walking distance, so there's less getting in and out of the car!
I think the more children you have, the easier it gets. Siblings bond with each other, as well as their parents - and therefore they also go to each other to have needs and wants met. Often I cannot get our 2 yr old (SN) son to tell me what he is upset about, but his brother (who he shares a room with!) can work it out easily! Our daughter goes to any of her brothers for a hug or a kiss of she falls down, and snuggles with them on the couch for company when they first wake in the morning. Obviously their Dad and I are always available to tend to their needs, and we don't "expect" our children to take care of each other in place of us doing it - but it's part of being a larger family I think - everyone takes care of everyone else! It's really special to watch.
And I guess for a time I gave up parts of my life to concentrate on the kids. But then I relaised that my lfie doesnt have to stop because I am a Mum. Now thye come most places with me! Sure, sometimes it's rowdy and chaotic and I come home vowing to never venture out again til they all turn 18 (they're 7, 4, 2 and 1 right now!) but other times we have a great time and I appreciate their company. And most of all, they learn that not everythign we do is all about THEM and THEIR interests - in our family, we cater to everyones' needs and wants. Including mine!!
I think too much emphasis is put on giving kids things to do and see. I think they have great brains and imaginations and can figure out their own entertainment if they have to! We tend to do one or two "special" outtings per holiday/term, and the rest of the time we spend doing "life" things - reading, play make-believe games outside, making cubbies out of blankets, watch DVDs together, cooking and making stuff, grocery shopping, helping out the community in some way etc etc. We really don't spend much on activities, and as we live on 2 acres, the kids are generally happy to make their own fun. And when that's "what you do" (and a wide list of extra activites aren't even offered!) they have a ball!
OK, long winded post, sorry - and I know I'm not really the sort of family you were asking about! But I think it must be similar - and it all works the same in the end! In a large family you always have someone else around to keep you company, to play your games and create your own entertainment!
Bring on the large families!
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Post by Kim on Jul 11, 2007 21:18:12 GMT 10
Hi BBlessed, Thank you for posting Its good to get view on this subject from different people who have different views. Although I wasnt asking questions for myself I was just wanting people to share their views on the subject because of the fact that some people do want large families and others want small families, so its interesting to see what others feel. ;D The main reason I asked about sharing rooms is because people also have different views about that. I grew up sharing a room, so dont see any problem with children sharing. Where as one of my sisters thinks its nicer that her children all have seperate room ;D Your views on the subjects are really good though as you already having children and then also going to adopt and make your family larger means that you have a view on things that many of us dont have, so its really great to hear what you have said. I cant wait to hear others views as well.
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bblessed
Newbie
Mum to 4 and Hoping for more!
Posts: 24
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Post by bblessed on Jul 11, 2007 22:01:54 GMT 10
I always thought my children should have seperate rooms too ...... ha ha and then I met my 2 sons who love sharing!!
I look forward to hearing some more views as well!
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