|
Post by suz456 on May 19, 2009 8:37:33 GMT 10
Hi all, I'm so excited about the possibility of adding to our family. We have just started the education sessions for pc. I was suprised at how small the group was! We went to an adoption talk in 1997 (before having biological kids) and the room was so packed it made me cry. But then, so did the woman who gave the talk! I think maybe I was ready to cry at anything at that time...
Do people keep a journal? mementos along the way? Have you thought about the possibility that your child has already been born and is waiting etc...? Suz
|
|
|
Post by suz456 on Jun 11, 2009 15:19:49 GMT 10
Obviously no one cares about this, I'll keep my enthusiasm to myself?!
|
|
|
Post by flossyinoz on Jun 11, 2009 15:35:21 GMT 10
Hi Suz, I am sure everybody here is excited about the prospect of adding to your and their family, but unfortunately the realities of the process show that from education sessions over application to interviews etc it often takes years, a time frame where the enthusiasm sometimes takes a bit of a nose dive. But it is a start and for many of us who have not been so lucky to have biological kids before we embarked on the adoption or pc journey we probably have been disappointed so often before in hears of failed IVFs etc that we are rather cautious in getting too excited. I often thought if I should have kept a journal because you tend to forget what lies behind you, it all becomes a bit of a blurr. So great idea, but for me it is probably a bit late to do so. Cheers Flossyinoz
|
|
|
Post by goggly on Jun 11, 2009 17:47:34 GMT 10
Hi Suzy,
Congrats on taking the first step, it is an exciting time.
I suppose the wariness you may encounter from a lot of us is that at the first session it is always made to sound like there are thousands of waiting kids for a family and in reality that is not true. The process won't be quick and it will take all your strength as a family to continue because a lot of your life choices will be called into question at some time or another.
The process is long, invasive, intrusive and there is no guarantee at the end of it you will be allocated a child. I do know a lot of people that have bio children or even other adopted kids and have dropped out of the pc program because it is a administrative nightmare.
We were lucky, we were allocated a child, so know the process inside out. But even though we know what is coming, we are finding in more difficult to get excited about the prospect of going back through it.
The small numbers at PC education and training is a reflection of the small group of kids allocated. Remember ther are only 15 adoptions and about 80 PC placements each year.
I am not trying to bring you down, but I really wish that someone at the start had sat me down and told me what the next couple of years of my life would be like - on hold either waiting to be assessed, waiting to be approved, waiting to be allocated or waiting to go to court.
Of course it is all worth it in the end, but be prepared for a little bit of heartache along the way.
As for you child being born already, you do never know! Feel free to ask as many questions as you like.
|
|
|
Post by suz456 on Jun 22, 2009 23:37:28 GMT 10
Thanks for taking the time to reply to my post. Perhaps I won't be so excited when I have been waiting forever. I just am now, because it is the start for our family. I certainly will welcome your advice as you have gone further into this process than I have. I read somewhere years ago in a fertility book to make a space in your house for a child and it will happen. I bought a huge teddy bear (...changed to a part time less stressful job...saw a fertility expert..husband took vitamins - just in case) and went on to have children! It was clearly the teddy bear that made all the difference. So...when we decided that we wanted to do PC...out came the teddy bear!!! I'll keep you posted how it works out
|
|
|
Post by shudie on Jun 23, 2009 8:49:05 GMT 10
Hi Suz,
I haven't experienced the process to be intrusive so far, even though I'm sure it is intrusive. I guess I see it as a requirement. We've had one 4 hour home interview with the social worker and whilst he asked deep questions - DH and I both found them OK.
The ICA team told us on the training seminars to put ourselves in a mothers shoes, what would you like to know about these people that are going to be caring for your child? What is their emotional, psychological, mental and physcial health like? What will my child's life be like? I think when it is put like that, I can understand why they need to intrude the way that do.
We have begun to think about the space that our little being will occupy, it feels positive after so many years of failed IVFs and TTC.
Look forward to hearing how you get on.
xx Shudie
|
|
|
Post by waiting on Sept 26, 2009 13:11:47 GMT 10
Is it too late to respond to you are Excited! I only just started this forum yesterday. I am not sure if you are allowed to continue a thread so late on. I have never been on a forum I am not sure of the rules. If someone would like to tell me the do's and don't that would be great.
It is exciting to be starting a new process. Yet everyone here knows how long this all takes. Did I keep a journal, well not really. I just kept of list of the dates, to remember in some way how long or short each process took. I would recommend a diary of gratitude diary, only because you need to find something to be thankful about, I know it is not about what you are going through, because I am not thankful that I can't have my own children, but I am past that now.
IS this making any sense to you F.
|
|
|
Post by flossyinoz on Sept 28, 2009 10:15:04 GMT 10
Waiting, It is never too late to write a post in a thread, we do not have any specific rules about that.
Suz, how is it going?
Flossyinoz
|
|