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Post by jasper29 on Sept 30, 2008 12:24:24 GMT 10
hi all i am new to this board. I live in victoria and am interested in starting the adoption process. Both myself and my husband are 30 years old and have been together for 14 years and married for 7. Our situation is a little different in that we are probably able to have children of our own but we would rather adopt and offer a child in need a life with us, rather than have our own biologically. Is this going to be a barrier for us being accepted for the adoption process? As people usually only turn to adoption after they realise they cant have there own biologically. I realise this sounds a little strange but its just the way we feel. Any advise would be much appreciated.
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Post by sallyg on Sept 30, 2008 13:41:36 GMT 10
Hi Jasper,
Welcome to this site!
You won't be prevented from applying because you aren't infertile, but if your motivation is to 'help a child in need' I wouldn't apply for 'healthy infant' adoption. There are many more waiting parents than there are children available. There are only 15 or so babies available each year, and many more couples desperately wanting to parent, but who are infertile. So the competition is high!
Typically, local children 'in need' might be older children available through Permanent Care - as this is available for children up to 12 years, children of any age with 'special needs' (including babies) and large sibling groups - often with special needs.
Also, have you thought of inter-country adoption? Again, younger 'healthy' children are in high demand and the system is slow and over-taxed, but older children, mild special needs, and large sibling groups are not so much - so there is a need there too.
Whilst healthy infants are in need, there are more than enough couples who desperately want them. Given this I imagine you will be questioned quite a lot as to your motivation for local adoption.
Does this help?
Sal
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Post by sallyg on Sept 30, 2008 13:44:25 GMT 10
Addition:
I just mentioned 'permanent' parenting above, missing out the obvious of foster care which is more often temporary. There is a HUGE need for foster parents in Victoria if that interests you.
Sal
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Post by flossyinoz on Sept 30, 2008 14:31:51 GMT 10
Hi Jasper29,
Welcome to the forum. SallyG is right, at your age with the ability to have children your motivation would be very much questioned by the social workers as it is unusual, but of course that should not at all deter you if that is what you want to do.
And there are lots of kids who need a home especially the ones who are not the "cute little babies" anymore either in adoption, permanent care or fostering.
As SallyG said most people want babies or children up to 2-3 year olds, there is probably enough parents who want them for them, but the real shortage lies in the older and special needs kids.
Your first step would be to contact your local agency or call DHS for information sessions in the programs that interest you. Maybe some preliminary questions you may have can be clarified there.
Good luck
Flossyinoz
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Post by jasper29 on Sept 30, 2008 15:16:44 GMT 10
Thanks guys for your replys, i plan to start the process shortly but just wanted to check what you guys thought. Whilst we have no problem being placed with a special needs child, our only concern is that we live in quite a rural area which has limited facilities and specialists to help with these sort of children , which may also go against us. Anyway thanks so much for all your advice, i will be sure to post back what happens.
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Post by sallyg on Sept 30, 2008 15:21:55 GMT 10
Hi Jasper,
Are you planning local or inter-country adoption?
Sal
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Post by flossyinoz on Sept 30, 2008 15:36:27 GMT 10
Jasper29,
You are right, if you do not have access to potential facilities then at least severe special needs is probably not an option for you. But as I said I think it is best to make an appointment with your local DHS agency and/or go to an information night to hear what they think would be the best option for you. They will probably raise questions you have not even thought about, that at least happened to many of us in the forum in the process, but better to clear them up before lodging an application. Cheers
Flossyinoz
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Post by michelle76 on Sept 30, 2008 21:51:58 GMT 10
Goodluck with your quest to build your family Jasper. I think the other ladies have answered your questions, the social workers will just be focussed on your motivations so as long as you and DH understand your reasons you should be fine.
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Post by chinababe on Oct 2, 2008 17:35:39 GMT 10
Also on the ICA front you need to realise that it is somewhat limited as well. With it taking about 3 to 4 years just to get to the point where your paperwork is sent overseas. Taking about 2 years from submitting expression of interest to education classes (which isn't even assessment).
The process would be faster if you select to live as an expat.
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Post by checkingboxes on Oct 4, 2008 17:43:33 GMT 10
Hi Jasper My husband and I are in a similar situation to you and yours. I am 30 and he is 33, we've been married for 12 years this December and could probably have bio kids but have never tried as adoption is our preference. We decided this about 9 years ago and set our hearts on adoption from China, however were too young to meet China's criteria... so had to wait until I turned 30 to lodge our application. Our file is now in China (logged in 8 Sept 2008) and we have a massive wait ahead of us, but having waited 9 years already just to be old enough, I think we can handle it! Our social worker was great. She needed to know that we were both equally committed and had done significant reading and research in the area, which we had, so we had no problems with our report or getting approved. Good luck with it all! Emma checkingboxes.blogspot.com
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jojo
Newbie
Posts: 30
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Post by jojo on Oct 27, 2008 15:20:20 GMT 10
hello welcome to the forum and good luck jojo
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