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Post by bonnie on Sept 13, 2008 14:33:11 GMT 10
Hi There,
I've been lurking for the past week, ever since I found your forum. It's been great to read your stories and advice. Thank you! ;D
I'm married to Michael coming up on 3 year now (both 25 yrs old), and we're looking at LA & PC in NSW. I've written off to DOCS for the information pack and am looking forward to finding out more.
I read in one of the threads that after 2 years of PC you maybe can apply to adopt? Has anyone heard anything more about this?
We're looking at moving overseas in about 5 years and wonder if that would disqualify us from PC?
Bonnie
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Post by car97 on Sept 14, 2008 7:48:14 GMT 10
Hi Bonnie, welcome to the forum I can't answer the PC question with certainty, but I would say that it probably would disqualify you. My DH and I are in NSW and are applying for LA with Centacare (with hopes that PC could be an option too) All the best with your decisions and paperwork!
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Post by chinababe on Sept 14, 2008 16:02:34 GMT 10
From what I know of the foster care/PC system in NSW it is slightly different from what it is in say victoria.
My understanding with foster care in NSW is that they often will allow adoption to occur after day a 3 to 5 year time frame of placement has occurred.
Well that's what I have been told at other websites so it might be worth checking this out with the authorities.
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Post by bonnie on Sept 14, 2008 18:03:41 GMT 10
Thank you both!
Car97 do you mind if I ask why you chose Centacare and what are the differences (if any) between Centacare, Anglicare, DOCS etc? Do they all have access to the same pool of kids, do some have more that others? Do the specialise in different age groups? Any reason to go with one rather than another?
Sorry if these are silly questions, but we're just starting out.
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Post by flossyinoz on Sept 15, 2008 10:24:12 GMT 10
Hi Bonnie,
Unfortunately I do not know much about the NSW system, so just popping in here to say hello and welcome to you.
PC in NSW is definitely different to Victoria as the department still has the guardianship not you as parents. So I would assume that your move overseas may cause problems depending on the family situation the kids were taken from and the access requirements., but I douvt it would disqualify you right away.
Hope some of our members can give you good advice.
Cheers
Flossyinoz
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Post by sallyg on Sept 15, 2008 10:50:35 GMT 10
Hi Bonnie,
I too don't know whether or not you'd have problems with adoption and plans to move o/s. I would imagine that PC would not be possible, as Flossy said, the guardianship remains with the dept. And adoption may be complicated by bio family access... but perhaps you could be considered for children who will not have face-to-face parental access, or just one visit a year where you could return to oz. Worth enquiring about anyway!
Have you considered intercountry adoption? You would be free to travel with an adoption through this process (after a year or when the adoption order is granted).
All the best, and let us know how you go.
Sal
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Post by bonnie on Sept 15, 2008 12:27:52 GMT 10
I would love to do ICA, but the costs involved makes it too expensive for us at the moment. Also I've read quite a bit about the long, long waiting times and am concerned that we may move O/S before the application is finalised: wasting money, effort, emotions etc. So ICA is option 2 at the moment and we will stay focused on LA and possibly PC if they will consider us for that. If LA or PC don't happen, then when we move O/S we will pursue ICA from Germany (where we are hoping to move to) as I've heard ICA is easier in pretty much any other country other than Australia
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Post by car97 on Sept 15, 2008 14:15:26 GMT 10
Bonnie, I chose Centacare because it is only them or DOCs who service the area that I live in. We decided on Centacare because it's a smaller, more personal agency, and we don't have to deal with a government dept!!
I believe that they don't have as many children BUT they also have a very small pool of approved parents too.
Good luck
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Post by chinababe on Sept 15, 2008 16:52:06 GMT 10
On the ICA front not all countries are hugely expensive for example Thailand is actually quite cheap and don't have waits of 5 or more years like other countries. There cost even with the Aussie fees of about $8,000 is only all up about $13,000.
I would think even with local adoption you might find potential restrictions for you because there is a preference for open adoptions and normally a min of 3 visits per year. I would actually think a PC/Foster situation in NSW where the birth parents access has been restricted or terminated would be more suitable. However generally this would mean some REALLY severe form of abuse/neglect would have taken place and the child may have have many long term life issues (RAD) to deal with.
Its not easy is it.
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Post by sallyg on Sept 15, 2008 17:11:19 GMT 10
And to add to Chinababe's comments Bonnie, you don't pay that amount all at once... it's quite progressive so it's not an instant burden, but spread across a few years. Your age may restrict your country choice though, so that's worth researching. I think China demand that you're over 30, mind you, the wait is so long you might be before you get to the top of the pile (!!!)... though of course I imagine the age requirements are from when you send your file o/s...
I really doubt you could live o/s with a NSW PC child - I think Vic could be different as the parent, rather than the dept, have guardianship. But I'd be happy to be proven wrong! Let us know how you go Bonnie, would be interesting to know.
GOOD LUCK!
Sal,
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Post by bonnie on Sept 15, 2008 17:15:38 GMT 10
No it's not easy. i wish it was easier.
Unfotunately even $13000 is a big ask for us as Michael is currently studying so we're only on a 1.5 income for the next 2 years and saving to support having a baby. If we spent the savings on the adoption I wouldn't be able to stop working, so it would kind of defeat the purpose.
We would be happy to take a child with issues, it would just depend on how serious they are. Even biological kids sometime come with developmental problems so we're not opposed to adopting a child who's been through tough times. It would really be a case by case basis on what we're prepared to cope with.
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Post by bonnie on Sept 15, 2008 17:23:10 GMT 10
What happens to parents who adopt a child and then 5 - 10 years down the track get a job offer in another state or another country? Do you have to turn it down? Do you have to live in the same place for the rest of your life???
Also, would we have to disclose the possibility of an O/S move? At this stage it's not set in stone and is only a possibility.
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Post by sallyg on Sept 16, 2008 8:37:49 GMT 10
No Bonnie, you don't have to disclose, but it's worth asking the right 'what if' questions in the event you do want to go o/s. The last thing you want is to feel 'stuck' in the country for the next 18 years because of your child.
The whole 'moving o/s' has been a massive consideration for us (and many others on this board) as some of us have relatives o/s and might like to live o/s at some point in time. But for us, we're well prepared for the situation (and assume it will happen) where we won't be able to. In addition, I imagine many children, esp older PC children or those with SN, would find a move o/s quite traumatic after what they've already endured, esp a country where they need to learn another language, customs etc. But of course, every child is different and will come with their own set of needs, and for some who are well attached it may be a wonderful adventure!
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Post by flossyinoz on Sept 16, 2008 11:22:41 GMT 10
Bonnie,
Of course it is not my place to ask why you are not considering or cannot consider a biological child as this would not come with the problems of guardianship, access later down the track. this is something which at your age any agency would question first.
If there is a serious issue with fertility on either side you might still consider egg or sperm donation, of course also here are unfortunately costs involved. But just trying to give you food for thought in case this was an option for you for having a child.
As to applying for a child in Germany, your age would defiitely be an advantage as as far as I know at the age of 35 or latest 40 you are no longer allowed to adopt. I am German myself and I seriously doubt that adopting from Germany is any easier than from here, Germany is known for their red tape. In the UK you would have a lot more chances, they have something like 3000 adoptions per year as they also convert permanent care into adoption, often even closed arrangements.
Cheers
Flossyinoz
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Post by bonnie on Sept 16, 2008 13:14:53 GMT 10
Hi Flossyinoz, That's okay. I have endometriosis and we so far haven't been able to conceive naturally. We have considered IVF, but again it's expensive, especially emotionally from what I've read on other forums. We are also both Christian and that adds an extra complication with IVF. At the moment it's not a path I'm willing to go down. That may change in the future if finances and other things change. Good to know that info on Germany. I know there's a lot of red tape there for everything (gotta love those German bureaucrats ) but figured could it get any worse than here? The UK is also a possibility for us. Michael is an opera singer so Europe is where the jobs are
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Post by flossyinoz on Sept 16, 2008 15:39:46 GMT 10
Bonnie, IVF is a very emotional path, I agree (done it for many many years ) and if it is against your beliefs that is indeed another hurdle. And with endometriosis I guess it really takes lots of luck. Keep trying naturally, enjoyable and you never know Probably don't have to tell a youg couple that Opera singer - wow! A more unusual career path! As I said we have never really looked into the German adoption system as when we left Germany we were still in the IVF phase. I just had a quick google and found the following out which does not sound too bad to me to be honest: There are no formal age criteria, but from 35 it gets a lot harder to adopt, 40 years age difference from parent to child are the maximum. The application process looks similar to Australia with social worker visits and life stories and DHS involvement. Numbers actually look a lot better than in Australia. In 2007 Germany had 4748 adoptions (60% of which by step parents) which leaves 1899 for local and international adoptions in a country of approx. 80 Mio people. Australia a country of approx 20 Mio had in 2006 576 adoptions of all kinds, local, step parents, intercountry, 23 of whoich were local NSW adoptions. So maybe you are right and your chances in Germany are not that bad at all. My knowledge so far was just hear say. As for the UK I think SallyG has done a lot of reading about their system and may be able to help you further. But this of course is all "music" of the future. For now I would enquire locally and innocently throw in the question what happend if for whatever reason you were moving abroad, you don't have to tell them you probably will. I am sure you would not be the only couple ever wanting to move countries. And I do not see any problems if you adopted, you are then after a year the legal parents. You might have to come back once a year maybe to meet the birthmother, but not every birthmother wants access anyway. Cheers Flossyinoz
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