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Post by michelle76 on Mar 5, 2008 11:22:16 GMT 10
Hi everyone,
We are just starting the Adoption process. We have been trying to conceive our first child for 8 years and have been through IVF 6 times with no success. So we decided that our path to parenthood will be adoption. We have decided to go with Intercountry Adoption and we attend the initial info session on 4th April in Melbourne. Very excited but terrified all at the same time. If things did not work out with ICA we would consider Permanent Care. Look forward to sharing this experience with you all. Michelle
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Post by chinababe on Mar 5, 2008 16:55:38 GMT 10
Hi Michelle I will PM you my email address because I am likely to be the one that hangs out here that is most relevant to your situation at the moment. Can I ask what country you are looking at?
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Post by checkingboxes on Mar 5, 2008 18:57:28 GMT 10
Hi Michelle and welcome! Looking forward to hearing about how things go with the first info session - and everything beyond that!
Emma
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Post by michelle76 on Mar 5, 2008 22:31:57 GMT 10
Hello chinababe and checkingboxes. I was so pleased to find this forum to share experiences and get support. It is so exciting and terrifying!
Chinababe I have to admit China is looking the most promising at the stage just based on waiting time to allocation of a child but we will start looking into more about culture etc that we are comfortable with. I like the idea of Ethiopia because there is a large African population here and other parts of Australia but a 5 year wait seems a bit long.
Looking forward to getting to the session on the 4th. I'm getting back into the exercise plan to loose some more weight, my BMI is just under 40 so won't to work on that some more. But it is not easy losing weight with PCOS.
Hope to talk to you more. Michelle
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Post by chinababe on Mar 6, 2008 10:09:27 GMT 10
Hi Michelle, I don't your specific ages or anything but I would actually encourage look at countries like Thailand because the wait in China is huge. Don't believe the DHS or ICAS documentation about it being 2 years once your paperwork is there.
We are looking at about a 5 to 6 year wait and our paperwork has been in China for a year (as of tomorrow 7.3.08).
Do you know if you match the cirtera for Thailand or any other countries?
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Post by michelle76 on Mar 6, 2008 10:20:21 GMT 10
Wow Chinababe that is a huge difference to the documentation? At what stage did they tell you that it would realisitcally be that long?
I'm 32 and DH 34 and that it why we are doing this now because we know it is going to be a long process we didn't want to wait to start the process any longer.
But we certainly are open to other countries we meet criteria for China, Korea, Thailand, Hong Kong, India, Lithuania and Ethiopia. A long list at this stage!
It must be frustrating once you get through the approval process because like IVF there is so much to do and then comes the long long wait with everything out of your hands.
What made you chose China in the end?
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Post by flossyinoz on Mar 6, 2008 10:47:17 GMT 10
Welcome Michelle, I see you are already in the experienced hands of Chinababe, our ICA specialist in this forum We are doing local adoption and permanent care which is equally frustrating and waiting periods can be equally long or it may even never happen, there is a lot more luck involved than in inter country adoption, where most people will eventually get a child if they wait long enough and you guys are really young, so that is your advantage. I am not sure if Kim is still peaking into the forum once in a while as she is in the same boat with you with PCOS. Kind regards Flossyinoz
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Post by Kim on Mar 6, 2008 10:59:19 GMT 10
I'm getting back into the exercise plan to loose some more weight, my BMI is just under 40 so won't to work on that some more. But it is not easy losing weight with PCOS. Hi Michelle, I have PCOS as well and am also trying to lose some weight. I found out I had it about 13 years ago and it was in a way a huge relief to finally know why I had a weight problem when I was eating like a bird and was normally active. ;D Of course I would rather not have it though as the struggle to lose the weight is a pain sometimes. If you want an email support partner in the fight to lose weight let me know. My husband and I started the ICA process to adopt from China but changed to Local at the start of last year and now are just taking a break from the process to get somethings sorted out so that we can hopefully continue with Local later on this year. Welcome to the forum ;D Sorry I am not around much, but as we are taking a break, there isnt really much I can post about at the moment. Kindest Regards, Kim
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Post by chinababe on Mar 6, 2008 13:59:53 GMT 10
that's just it they don't tell you, the adoptive waiting parents and pervious adoptive parents tell you. This is based on information from fourms about china. They base it on how many days of allocations are done within one month. Some months only 3 to 4 days of waiting parents are allocated.
Basically it's taking 2 to 3years for those that had their paperwork in China 2 or 3 years ago! For those of us from last year dec06 to may 07 we have been caught up in the requirement changes with China - many americans where able to push their paperwork through during this time.
Korea pretty much doesn't accept new applications really.
Lithuania only has a quota of about 2 children per year under 2 years so you might want to think long and hard about that one. Unless your willing to consider older child adoption.
I really encourage Thailand to be considered.
We didn't have a lot of options with where we chose because of DH's age. Our paperwork for Thailand would have missed out by just a couple of months I think from memory.
My DH is 46 - so this is it - this is our only chance with full adoption. Otherwise we would have to look at PC
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Post by checkingboxes on Mar 6, 2008 17:51:06 GMT 10
Hey Michelle
Yeh, chinababe is right -the forecast for the China program isn't looking crash hot at the moment. Ask plenty of questions at your info session to find out which program is right for you, and what the current and projected wait times are.
I'm in Qld where the Dept will only ever tell people what the wait currently sits at (though they are always out of date - they are currently quoting 12-14 months when it is sitting at 25+ months and getting slower every month). They don't like to predict what it could be in the future as there are many variables.
Always best to find out from other parents-in-waiting- they are often more informed about currency of programs than the Departments which act on their behalf, sadly. Hook into a state or local support group for adoptive families - it will help you keep sane and informed!
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Post by sallyg on Apr 22, 2008 22:43:03 GMT 10
Hi Michelle,
How did you go with ICA info session?
Sal
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Post by michelle76 on May 5, 2008 17:29:47 GMT 10
Hello, Well after attending the ICAS information session in April we have decided to apply for local adoption. We submitted our expresssion of interest to ICAS but were told it can be up to 2 years before we will be invited to the training sessions. One of the social workers came and had a chat to us and encouraged us to try local adoption. I had just assumed there would be next to no local adoption and hundreds of couples on the list.
So we went to the local adoption session in Bendigo last week and have sent forms off today so hope to be attending the training in late May. We were very pleased to hear there are about 17 local adoptions a year in Victoria but only about 40 couples on the approved list.
It is a good part of the process in that we have things to do, the hard part will be when we are just waiting.......
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Post by chinababe on May 5, 2008 21:00:50 GMT 10
Michelle I am glad that they told you straight up!
I am so pissed off about this :
GRRR! ICAS and DHS has to take some of the responsibility for this. I really feel this has been caused by the fact that they closed their entire system down for like nearly 8 mths last year. I feel that they did this in the hope of stopping people from applying and it has backfired on them now with heaps and heaps of people waiting for information sessions and education classes.
Australia has to do something about having more programs and higher quota numbers.
Michelle congratulations on your decision to move into the area of local adoption.
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Post by sallyg on May 6, 2008 8:08:45 GMT 10
Hi Michelle, I'm not surprised at your decision. My husband and I have even finished the ICA education sessions with took us 18 months at the time (which you would be at least 2 years to attending) and even after that we decided our chances with LA / PC would be better. While we were doing the edu sessions (last year) the waiting list for our country of interest grew another 12 months... so it was looking like another 4 years. It was hard to put that application on hold as I was so committed to what we were doing, but I know think we made the right decision and prefer to take our chances locally - I'm feeling lucky! Maybe one day in the future, if the govt ever gets its arse into gear re: ICA, then we might apply for subsequent kids, but in the meantime it's just too far away. Another consideration was the entire dhs 'holier than though' attitude which we really didn't like. We've been through 2 agencies for our pc / la training so far and both were far superior to the dhs. Good luck with it all, I think you've made a good choice. Sal x
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Post by flossyinoz on May 6, 2008 11:55:06 GMT 10
Michelle and Sally,
I am so with you. We also went to ICA info sessions and even filled in the expression of interest (100 bucks later...) and then decided ICA was not for us as they were actually trying to deter people from applying and classified us a s racists (they did not say this like this but that is how it came accross) when we said we come from Europe and do not have much connection to Asia where most children come with. But this was several years ago, so hopefully their attitude has changed a bit after the enquiery into the DHS system.
So far we have found our agency far more friendly and cooperative than DHS.
Interesting Michelle, they told you there were 40 people on the waiting list for adoption, we were told there are less, but then of course the list constantly fluctuates.
Good luck Michelle!
Flossyinoz
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Post by sallyg on May 6, 2008 15:49:13 GMT 10
The money's a shocker isn't it Flossy. We've paid $1400 to dhs so far, and they were asking for the next $2k. That's when we deferred... and NO, their attitude hasnt' changed. Everyone I know thinks they're horrid! I've now met two girls recently who were bought to tears by a phone call to inquire about DHS. One was knocked back because she was too young, the other because she was in cancer remission. Both were treated with disdain and told to do LA or foster! Like WTF?!?!?
Our agency has 'less than ten' couples on the books for LA... not sure what that means or how it translates across the state though! They've got next to none for PC though...
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