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Post by flossyinoz on Jul 31, 2008 13:07:00 GMT 10
I am still not so sure about the breastfeeding relactation thing discussed in another thread, but I definitely find the idea of co sleeping interesting. But I would not want the child in my own bed, too afraid to roll over him/her, but there seems to be quite an interesting alternative, a little bed with one open side which is attached firmly to the parents bed. www.armsreach.com/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=cPath=3_1Would be a bit squeezy in our bedroom, but I think it could work with a bit of furniture adjusting. Of course the idea of just taking the kid and breastfeed in my own bed would not work this way if I did not manage to re lactate, would still have to get up to make bottle feeds, but it would definitely be better to soothe baby when she/he is not hungry, just needs a cuddle. What do you think or maybe even someone who has done this? Flossyinoz
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Post by sallyg on Aug 1, 2008 8:48:18 GMT 10
Hi Flossy,
I too would be petrifying of rolling over on a child - dh more likely! So I just couldn't do it for that reason. But I'm not opposed to it for anyone else or for any other reason. I'm sure it's wonderful for bonding. I would however hold a child in our bed until he/she fell asleep, then put them in their own bed if this was necessary.
I think if a child settles without too much drama I'd prefer them in their own cot, in their own room, but chances are they won't after a disruption, and will need more comforting which I think that bed you suggested looks ideal. It can over time be moved further and further away from the matrimonial bed as they become better sleepers and more comfortable with their new surrounds.
If we had had bio kids I would have been one for strict sleeping patterns from early on, but I don't think it's appropriate for hurt or grieving children - would only heighten their sense of abandonment (in my opinion).
Interesting topic!
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Post by michelle76 on Aug 1, 2008 16:30:57 GMT 10
I have a friend that had done co-sleeping from her child's birth and she really believes in it for bonding and attachment. But it is not something that I would do unless recommended by a therapist or something; it really depends what situation the child has come from. As long as I'm responding to the baby's needs, I think that is what's important.
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mel
Newbie
Posts: 16
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Post by mel on Aug 1, 2008 18:05:03 GMT 10
I have co-slept with both my kiddies and as much as I'd love to say it was for all the attachment and bonding reasons it was alot more out of tiredness and laziness lol. I intended to have my DD sleep in her cot but after a couple of nights of trying to stay awake to feed a little bub, I very quickly started laying down while feeding her. Then I would just wait a few minutes after her feed to get her to sleep but I would end up sleeping too! Both my DD's slept so much better when they were in bed with me. My eldest was a co-sleeper 90& of the time but they youngest was alot less than this, less than one night a week usually. With my youngest she was a much better sleeper so mostly she slept through the night but if she did wake up I would pop her into my bed to settle her off to sleep.
I honestly don't know what I would do with my next child. I know alot more about the risks of co-sleeping now and I would be more nervous about it but I really do find co-sleeping has so many benefits. I have thought about buying a cot with a removable side to put beside our bed but with our room layout it might not be possible.
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Post by chinababe on Aug 2, 2008 9:09:56 GMT 10
The foundation for true 'attachment parenting' and co-sleeping actually believes that only the mother should be the one to actually have the child sleeping against them - for me this already losses a lot of points because I think it is really insulting to the male parent.
The idea with co-sleeping it to have the child against a solid object (wall) and then the female parent on the other side, so therefore the risk is slightly reduced. If you actually take it a step more so theories actually say that normally (is the case of birth children more so) that they shouldn't even have to wear clothes during the first few months because they should be held by the mother at all times and that this should actually be producing enough heat to warm the child - um maybe in medieval England where you only had one room for everything and you never went outside. ;D
Back to the topic at hand - many parents co-sleep successfully one thing you might want to take into consideration is daytime naps - will you be willing to make the time to co-sleep at this time of day? I've known parents that co-sleep in the child's own room not for the whole sleeping session just the start, this seemed to be effective for quite a few parents I have known that take this approach.
I think with a PC and local adoption situation it is important to see if you can learn anything about the last foster placement and how that was handled. Though PC you might not get this info.
For ICA it's different again, in many ways these children have been co-sleepers for a long time as often children in orphanage care have been surrounded by other children and sometimes even co-sleep with other babies in the same cot.
My only real advice is if you plan for your child to go into day care and the child being dependent totally on co-sleeping it is going to be very difficult for the child and the staff caring for your child. If this is a aim try and ease them out of day time co-sleeping before they start day care.
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Post by flossyinoz on Aug 4, 2008 10:33:15 GMT 10
I would only ever consider co sleeping at night time and only in a cot next to my own bed, never in my own bed. I think that combines the best of both worlds. So for naps the child should still geet used to sleeping alone whereas at night for all the reasons quoted, attachment, bonding and "lazyness" the co sleeping seems to be a good idea.
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