mel
Newbie
Posts: 16
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Post by mel on Jul 28, 2008 21:38:59 GMT 10
Hi my name is Mel and flossyinoz sent me the link to this fantastic site I have two gorgeous kiddies, my eldest is 14 and the youngest is 8 and we are also hoping to add to our family soon. My 8yo daughter is a permanent care child and has lived with us on and off since birth and finally when she was about 5 the permanent care order was legalised ;D I have a fairly long and complicated story but basically I put in an application for a permanent care child and completed the training and assessment. Then my DD who had been a previous foster child was placed back into care and it was decided that she would not return to her birth parents. Luckily I was able to transfer from a "general pool" PC application and change this to a specific application. I have been extremely lucky in every way and have had a fantastic experience with permanent care. We also have a great relationship with DD's birth parents and her extended family, and they really feel like such a special part of our family now as well. Now we are hoping to add to our family and have the difficult decision about whether to try our luck at fertility treatment or whether to make a second application for permanent care. I know how long and exhausting the application process can be but I also know first hand how rewarding it can be. It will be a very very difficult decision Anyway I look forward to getting to know you all
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Post by sallyg on Jul 29, 2008 10:28:38 GMT 10
Hi Mel,
And welcome :-)
It's wonderful to know some real-life PC parents!!! You're a hard lot to find lol...
All the best with your upcoming decision... I would have thought that the PC process wouldn't be too horrendous for you since you've already been through it once before. Will you go back to the same agency if you pursue PC?
Bye,
Sal x
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Post by flossyinoz on Jul 29, 2008 10:32:45 GMT 10
Hi Mel, Great you are joining us! We are always happy to have some experienced people on the board who already know how every day life with adoption or pc is. WELCOME!
Flossyinoz
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mel
Newbie
Posts: 16
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Post by mel on Jul 29, 2008 20:24:19 GMT 10
Thanks for the welcome Sal if we do decide to go through the permanent care process it would be through the same agency so I am hoping it would be a little easier but there are also quite a few new issues that are pretty touchy with permanent care assessments. Hubby and I are both very overweight now so this would potentially be a big debate about whether we would be approved, with the last assessment I had no fertility issues but this has also changed and I know they are very touchy about the grief and loss of infertilty and this is a potential reason to be knocked back or have the application deferred. Also having a permanent care child already sometimes makes them worry about the impact of a new addition to the family. So I am guessing the assessment would still be a long and stressful process! But of course with fertility treatment it is so unpredictable and we have no idea ir or when this would be succesful either. If only we had a crystal ball to see into the future, it would be so much easier to make decisions! I know you have both probably mentioned this a million times on the forum but can I ask if you are applying for permanent care, local adoption or intercountry adoption?
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Post by sallyg on Jul 31, 2008 12:13:08 GMT 10
Hi Mel,
If you get your hands on the crystal ball, send it my way too!
I suppose your situation now is quite different than before your PC daughter, and all the dynamics are different. Good luck with whatever you do decide.
We are applying for LA and PC. ICA was just too long for us... so hoping like crazy we've made the right decision. Haven't got up to the 'ticking the boxes' sheet yet, but we're thinking 0-3 or 0-4 for a single PC child and a little older for siblings (if we can get approved for this).
Bye Sal
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