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Post by chorkette on Feb 7, 2008 20:37:48 GMT 10
I'm new to this forum
Me and my husband have considered SN's adoption since before we married. We have recently contacted DHS, we are in Victoria, and will be attending an information session late June. There was one tonight, but our youngest child has only just turned 1 and they want him to be closer to 2 before starting the process.
So now we are just playing the waiting game.
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Post by flossyinoz on Feb 8, 2008 12:07:24 GMT 10
Hi and welcome Chorkette, Yes I think we all know the waiting game only too well It has been a bit quiet in here a bit lately, probably because everybody is waiting and not much has been happening over the December/January period. Feel free to post anything that comes into your mind. Kindest regards Flossyinoz
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Post by kate on Feb 9, 2008 21:59:26 GMT 10
Hi Chorkette
Why have you chosen to do special needs adoption?
cheers,
Kate
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Post by chorkette on Feb 11, 2008 18:45:05 GMT 10
With other forms of adoption, ICA & infant there are 1000's of willing would be parents, very low number of children available. However with SN adoption and PC (which is something we are also considering) it is the opposite.
Our main reason is obviously to grow our family, but our secondary reason is to give a child a chance to be part of a family who will most likely take a long time to place. My husband grew up in foster care and knows what it feels like to wait for a family to come along. A few years ago, we saw an article in the Herald Sun about a little girl who was waiting to be adopted, she had cerebal palsy and my husband wanted to ring right there and then, but the time was just not right.
It is also an intrest area of ours, I have a C4 in Disability Studies as well as a Youth Work degree. We applied for interchange (respite for parents of disabled children) last year, however due to our circumstances changing we couldn't continue.
We haven't considered ICA and infant adoption as we can and have had our children naturally, I know a lot of ICA countries wouldn't accept our application and I would feel sad to have taken the opportunity away from someone if we where chosen for infant adoption. I've had the chance to experience the joy of having a baby and although I would love to adopt a baby, I think it would be unfair to do so considering it would probably mean I'd be taking that opportunity away from someone. I know it is about the best intrests of the child, but considering the application process and the checks that are done, there is no reason to beleive a child would 'miss out' with anyone else on that list IYKWIM. I hope that is worded ok, I know it can be a sensitive thing to talk about.
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Post by flossyinoz on Feb 12, 2008 11:57:04 GMT 10
Chorkette,
My fullest respect! You have very good reasons and know exactly what you are doing, both of you and you are very considerate in noting that you may take the opportunity away for somebody who is not able to have children the natural way if you app;ied for adoption.
For DH and I adoption or PC is a last resort as we have tried almost everything else for years, but as they teach us in the seminars it is the same for a child, being adopted or in pc is not ideal for them either, but the best possible outcome in their given situation. So in a way it would be a match made in heaven for us and we would love this child/children as our own and give them a good and stable and loving home. Well still hoping we get contacted soon by our agency for the assessment to commence that we at least get on that list and then we will see if we ever get matched. I think you need a portion of good luck and a social worker who is actively "marketing you" .
We will not apply for special needs as we do not feel capable of copyng with it. We are aware that in a sense all PC kids are special needs due to the trauma they have gone through, but hopefully with love and hard work on emotional issues this can be overcome and the child can live a "normal" fulfilled life. We would not mind haveing a child with a slight physical disability which can be controlled, but a child which could never live a "normal" life would not be for us. But I really admire people who can help these kids who need help more than anybody else. so go for it, it sounds like you have the best possible background and would make the life of one or two little children change so dramatically to the better with your understanding.
Take care
Flossyinoz
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