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Post by chinababe on Sept 16, 2008 18:41:42 GMT 10
Bonnie, Sorry but like Flossy I am going to ask some personal questions it's up to you about answering them Do you know if there are any other infertility aspects? What sort of investigation have you had? You can actually undergo modified forms of IVF that are more in line with those with Christian beliefs - including procedures called GIFT and MIFT, they can also do what is referred to as 'natural IVF' or you can undergo low level stims so only to produce a certain number of eggs to be attempted to fertilise. You can also undergo 'normal IVF' but just have the EGGS not embryos frozen. Also once you use the medicare safetynet the cost is often very low.
The thing is something like RAD is not just a developmental problem. I reckonmend reading
Building the Bonds of Attachment : Awakening Love in Deeply Troubled Children, by Daniel A. Hughes
It really opened my eyes to what RAD really means.
I'll ask around at one of the international forums I belong to about the adoption in Germany. The UK seems pretty easy, I even know a same sex couple that where placed with a little boy in less than a year.
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Post by sallyg on Sept 16, 2008 19:29:58 GMT 10
Hi Bonnie, Just to completely overload you ;-) ... The UK process is quite similar to Australia, only as Flossy said, there are many more children available. Whilst there are some healthy infants, many are older children, siblings and children of black heritage. SW are very hesitant to place children with families that don't mirror the child's heritage, even if you're happy to adopt a child of different ethnicity. You also have a huge choice of agencies to go with, and from what I've seen you're best going with a charity rather than a local council that is full of bureaucrats rather than individuals!. You don't have to go with an agency that is in your area. I think you'd have to be living in the UK for at least 12 months before commencing, and the process to approval is varied - from about 7 - 18 months. The wait for the right match can be years, or can be quite quick. Children are 'advertised' in monthly newsletters, so if you see a child or sibling group that you are interested in you can let your SW know. Such sites (rightly or wrongly) are like this one: www.londonkids.org.uk/search.html?-session=PVAn excellent UK adoption site is www.adoptionuk.org/All the best, Sal x
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Post by bonnie on Sept 16, 2008 20:21:37 GMT 10
Hi China,
That's okay. We've had a sperm test done too, but haven't got results yet. Getting them at the end of the month.
I did know you can have IVF in line with Christian beliefs, but I just don't know if I can do IVF, even if it's okay with my faith. I'm not sure if I can hand it emotionally and put myself and Michael through it all?
Sorry, developmental was probably the wrong word, I was meaning emotional/psychological as well as mental & physical. I've been doing a bit of reading online about RAD, but will try to get my hands on that book too.
Sally I had a look at some UK website and the fact that you can chose a child just blew my mind. I have no idea what to think of it. Initially I thought "but it's like shopping for a child, like you would for a pet or your groceries", so wrong. Then I swung to it's a good think: you can be more involved in the process and hopefully with input for both sides get a better outcome. . Now I'm somewhere in between and undecided. But the UK certainly sounds like it's easier to get a placement.
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Post by shudie on Sept 19, 2008 12:18:14 GMT 10
ICA in NSW is $10, 000 + the country fee.
PC (called long term foster care in NSW) is also slowing down I was told last week on the telephone.
xx shudie
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Post by shudie on Sept 19, 2008 14:35:42 GMT 10
quick update - just spoke to LA and PC team
OMG, what a run around.....
i just happened apon another number: local adoption and perm care - not long term foster care. apparently pc does exist in NSW sort of . you apply for LA and ICA and then pick later on down the line decide one way or the other. if you do pick LA, you can then go into the pc pool. then you go off and do the long term foster care training which is really focussed on short term fostering. there is no quota or wait list as such for LA/PC, you become part of a pool of families that are then deemed suitable or not by foster team or birth parent. confused, i am!
anyway, the manager is back in 2 weeks so need to call back then for costs etc
also found out that thailand 2009 quota is full so if we applied there, file probably wouldn't be sent to 2010 or 2011 and then 2+ from there.....
xx shudie
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Post by bonnie on Sept 19, 2008 18:55:10 GMT 10
Hi Shudie,
I received a breakdown of the costs for LA from Anglicare. Not sure if it varies for DOC's, Centacare etc...
$3500 Administration fees (training, app. lodgement fees etc) $2300 - $3000 Legal Fees (paid to your solicitor & subject to change)
So about $6000+
Hope this helps you.
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Post by sallyg on Sept 19, 2008 20:01:33 GMT 10
That's strange that there are admin charges for LA - there aren't any in Vic (just your legal fees for adoption). Will be interesting to see if there's a difference from agency to agency. Shudie - it sounds very complex! And confusing...
Bonnie, back to your comments re: 'choosing' your child from the UK sites it's actually not that easy! Often when the kids are published there's a bit of competition for them, so it's really just alerting you to them (once you're approved), then you may or may not be considered, then you may or may not end up with the child/ren. I too at first was completely horrified, and I don't think it should be the usual way to proceed. But I've come around to realising that for harder to place children it can be a good method to help find them a permanent family - and in the end that's what's most important.
I know that in Vic they go to the press when they have SN children they can't place, and this usually results in a good home placement. And I've heard they do this with foster children in Qld - I'm not sure of their success. But if it means a good long-term ending for the child at the short-term cost of exposure I think it's worthwhile. Note that many of the children pictured on the UK sites are models with false names, so there is some form of protection in many cases, and for older children they participate in the process of writing their description and choosing a photo - it's sad they have to do this, but I suppose it gives them some sort of control in a situation where they've often been totally out of control. The poor loves.
Sal x
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Post by sallyg on Sept 22, 2008 9:28:35 GMT 10
Hi Bonnie, FYI According to www.aican.org/statistics.php you'll see that Germany and UK have even fewer ICAs than Australia per capita... so neither would seem an 'easy' or 'quick' option. sal
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Post by flossyinoz on Sept 22, 2008 10:48:52 GMT 10
Interesting statistics, both Germany and the UK seem to due less per capita adoptions from overseas but more local adoptions if we can trust the numbers.
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Post by samnangmeh on Sept 22, 2008 16:23:02 GMT 10
A German friend of mine has looked into local adoption there, and was told there is a maximum age of 40 for adoptive parents. Not sure if that is just for singles or not though.
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Post by shudie on Mar 29, 2009 21:02:49 GMT 10
Hi Bonnie, I have had a home visit and done the training in NSW. My husband is British so we are also anxious about the travelling etc. From what I can gather, with pc in NSW, Docs have the authority over gaining a passport for the child etc. I imagine it is ok to travel but not for significant periods unless there is no bio family? ? Also, just because there is an option to adopt after 2 years, the reality is that it could take much longer. Short term foster kids are their priority. Unless you go through the LA/PC team that is in conjunction with the ICA team at Ashfield. PC through this route seems to be slightly faster because you pay for it. If you go through Docs in Strawberry Hills, everything is free because it actually comes unde the foster care team. Hope all that makes sense. Defo ask questions though - we did. xx Shudie
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